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The infertility diagnosis is always hard to take no matter your age or marital status. The decision to have IVF (egg donation) can be difficult as well, but it definitely gives you hope of getting pregnant and giving birth to a healthy baby. Many infertile couples face the choice of using donor eggs and have a baby or live their life childless (or perhaps adopt). Let’s not forget about those couples who are carriers of serious genetic diseases and for whom egg donation is the only solution to have a disease-free child.
Egg donation gives you the possibility to become a biological mother for your donor egg baby. Did you know that 10% of all babies conceived through IVF are a result of successful IVF (egg donation)
? That is a big number taking into consideration the fact that about 45,000 women undergo IVF in the UK every year. Did this decision come easy for them? Probably not. This is something that needs to be discussed with your partner, well thought over and not rushed.
It may take you a while to come to terms with using egg donation. Many women want a baby who has some of their genetics. It also seems very romantic to make a baby with the person you love, to mix your genes. You may think that genetics is what would bond you as a family. However, let’s look at it from a different perspective: it is your body which will give “home” to the developing baby for 9 months, it is your blood flowing into the placenta and giving life to the baby. And it is your body which will give birth to the baby. Then, there is breastfeeding and cuddling which is such a great bonding experience. And, finally, you are the person who will raise the baby. At this point, the genetics does not matter as you are the real mother to the child.
In order to be able to make an informed decision, do some Internet research on the topic. There is a plethora of fertility blogs and vlogs where women describe their IVF egg donation journey, embryo transfers, pregnancy and birth. Read interviews with egg donors – you will get an idea about the motives of women who decide to share their eggs to help others. Finally, find a reliable database of IVF clinics where you can compare success rates and cost of IVF with donor eggs in various clinics. This way you will have the whole picture and it will be easier for you make an informed decision. Once you set your main goal (getting pregnant with donor eggs) the price may not be a factor for you.
However, this type of treatment is usually very expensive, therefore, it is a good idea to check all the options, including even travelling abroad for more affordable IVF.
To sum up, we should be able to see egg donation as a precious gift. Let’s not diminish in any way the hard work that infertile couples go through to realise their dream of parenthood. As a mother
I am convinced that everyone deserves the right to be a parent. The sweet reward may come after a few attempts but it is well worth it. Overcoming the challenge of infertility is already a huge success; we should celebrate it and be proud of it at any age. As Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives’ actress, who had twin girls well in her forties, once said: “When a woman gets older, they get donor eggs, which doesn’t make the baby any less beautiful or perfect.”