I Never Wanted To Be A Stay At Home Mum..

So this is a hard post to write. I did touch briefly on this on Twitter and had some wonderful support, so I feel confident enough to write about it here on TillyButton.com.

Mum musing at laptop

Baby Button is fourteen weeks old, and before he was born when I was doing temporary work until the week he arrived – I vowed I’d be back at work within three months. That was while pregnant, before I met this pretty amazing creature who learns and develops every single day. It was before knowing what it would be like, waking up and seeing a toothless smile through the bars of his cot. Before feeling the bond of breastfeeding and before hearing him laugh.

This week I was offered a job after handing in my CV. A few hours a week, from 6am until 10am and with a lovely group of people.

When I went for my first day of training, I immediately knew it would be difficult. It was too early, I had to really beg for childcare and it was too early for nursery. But I have a strong work ethic, I figured I’d be fine.

I was wrong.

I was only gone two hours but couldn’t settle. The pit of my stomach felt like lump of lead and I couldn’t focus. Deep down I knew it just wasn’t the right decision for me at this time – I needed to be at home with Baby Button.

I don’t need to work just yet. I might not be able to holiday in the Maldives, and I might have to buy things second hand.. But Baby Button is happy, healthy and very loved. That’s all that matters and I knew what I had to do.

I contacted the manager, apologised and explained how difficult the childcare situation would be. Thankfully she was absolutely wonderful and there was no hard feelings! It was a massive relief for me – I could get back to our sleepy morning routine of coffee, hot bottle and cuddles before playtime and a walk if the weather is good. It was also a realisation: I’m officially a Stay At Home Mum. Something I never, ever thought I would be.. And it feels bloody wonderful.

I Never Wanted To Be A Stay At Home Mum

I was one of those people who eyerolled at the concept of a ‘Stay At Home Mum’. I cringed when the SAHM hashtag would pop up in a bio and I just couldn’t see the appeal. Work is work – strong women go to work right? Strong women don’t stay at home to look after children when that’s what a nursery was for.

God how small minded I was.

Strong women do go to work. But strong women do make the decision to stay at home and look after the children they helped create. Taking the steps I did to say no to work, were some of the hardest I ever have. Taking a step back from my independence, taking a step back from being in charge of my finances.. All for one little boy. Who is completely worth it. I’m a strong woman. The woman who goes to work and leaves her child at nursery, is a strong woman. As Mothers, we are strong in so many ways we don’t even realise. So when you feel judged by someone for staying at home – hold your head high.

Like me merely months ago, they just haven’t had to make the decisions you have.

Written By
More from Tilly Button

The ‘Other’ Side To The Alton Towers Theme Park

When we visited Alton Towers last week, I wanted to take the...
Read More


Leave a Reply