A few weeks ago, I wrote on my blog: Now I’m Just Some Mummy That You Used To Know.
Today I want to explore some ways you can banish the mum loneliness and move forward at your own pace! My original post got so much support and was shared so many times, I feel I owe it to you to explore ways you can connect with others in the same position.
I’ve already covered these in the post I’ve previously mentioned, but baby groups are definitely a good step into finding your new tribe. If you aren’t sure of attending your first group, you can always take your partner – everyone is welcome at a group! I attend groups with fathers, mothers, grandmothers, legal guardians and adoptive parents. It’s always refreshing to trade stories and learn about other parenting styles.
It’s worth mentioning that every mum I’ve spoken to at groups has said “I almost didn’t come, I was so scared!” Attending a group can be really daunting and we all have our bad experiences.. But it’s worth those cringeworthy moments just to indulge in the good ones later.
Libraries (those in the North West at least) hold various sessions for children. Read and Rhyme sessions have some singing, followed by a book for the older children. I found these groups were often absolutely packed, so try get there a bit earlier so you can get a seat and make some conversation with other people attending.
Pick up a timetable while you’re there and keep on top of other sessions they offer – we’ve had an empathy day, as well as a day where the library mascot came to visit.
The Peanut App
Peanut is an application for new mums and mums to be, similar to Bumble or Tinder. You can use it to find those in your local area who are seeking friendship. It’s simple to use, and good for those who don’t feel up to meeting people face-to-face right away. Over time, there’s nothing stopping you organising a mum date!
Facebook is a really good way to connect with groups, mums and events in your area. Try find your local children centres and give them a like to stay updated on any events – especially during the holidays. During school holidays a lot of council run groups may be cancelled, but some local authorities are organising big events on certain areas.
Your local area might have a group just for mums and dads to find events or groups for babies – have a look on your local towns group or ask around. A lot of mums I’ve met have been through advising them on the local group on where to take babies so it’s worth while taking the time to look.
Mothercare have their own Facebook group called the 2am Club – perfect for those late nights or early mornings if you need a few words of encouragement.
At 3am, Twitter is a little light in the darkness of night feeding. You won’t be the only one up at that hour, open up your timeline and have a peek through. Obviously this only works if you follow other mums on twitter – don’t be shy!
Family Friendly Events/Places
Meeting other parents naturally is still a great way of building up your friendship circle. Whether it’s at your local soft play or town show, don’t be afraid to chat to other parents – they might be just as relieved to find someone to chat with as you are.
The loneliness as a stay at home parent, new parent or simply parent in general can be really crippling. But if you push yourself just a little, it doesn’t need to be.. Sometimes the only thing holding you back is yourself. Don’t let it win, and get out there!