I cannot believe it has been ten months since I first laid eyes on my perfect little boy. Ten months. That’s longer than he was inside! He’s a tiny little person now, who stands and eats and babbles and has a sassy little attitude just like his Mother.
He’s so inquisitive now, sometimes I find myself sitting in awe and watching him analyse everything – from picking up his spoon and dipping it into food to lick the spoon, to having a good old investigate of the strange orange vegetables that Mummy and Daddy took him to a pumpkin patch for.
Nothing is safe.
Cupboard doors are there to be opened, the washing machine is a spinning circle of curiosity and various pieces of fluff from the floor very definitely are to be eaten. As a Mother, I’m constantly on high alert, and I’m usually following him around putting things back and righting any wrongs he’s caused. One of his favourite tricks is to empty the paper recycling bag (I’m attempting to take recycling much more seriously these days) piece by piece so he ends up sat in the middle like a bizarre art installation. But even day to day, I see changes. I see the little things that are adding up to make him the man he’ll one day become.
I never thought I’d be the type of Mum to say the cliche: “I don’t know how we created something so perfect” but I do ask myself that question more than once a day.
I don’t think anyone can prepare you for that overwhelming feeling of pure unadulterated love you feel for your child. I know I’d fight tooth and nail for my boy, and for someone who was so convinced she didn’t want children growing up – it’ a humbling feeling. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been one of the hardest times of my life thus far – he doesn’t sleep through, never has and to be honest I don’t see a time he will. Sometimes I get up three times, sometimes twenty three. My breasts are exhausted, but I know I want to keep going until it feels right to stop – for now, I enjoy our cuddle time. Perhaps not the teeth though.
Oh. The teeth. No parenting book, blog, magazine or person will ever tell you how hard teething really is. Baby Button has had six teeth come through in around four months, and he’s still pushing some through right now. The pain of seeing your child in agony and not being able to do more than you are is terrible, and this is something all children go through – it’s exhausting, not just for the child.
With Mike working away a lot, I’ve done most of the parenting. So the night shifts, the early mornings, the zombied walk to baby groups, the attempts at feeding, the nappy changes.. And while I can finally breathe a little now I wouldn’t change a thing.
Sleepless, yes. Frustrating, yes. But the last ten months of my life, have been the best ten months of my life.
Thank you, Baby Button.