Things Nobody Told Me About Pregnancy!

So when I wasn’t pregnant, I admit – it wasn’t something I put a lot of thought into. I had two stepchildren and wasn’t trying to conceive, but we were blessed with a bundle of joy so I thought I’d compile a few things I’ve ‘discovered’ about pregnancy that nobody warned me about.

Body hair, why does it grow so fast?

No I mean it. I can spend some time in the bath getting rid of any cultivation I may have developed, and two days later I feel the same itchy spiky mess I started off as. Lazy, pre-pregnancy me could usually get away with once a week – no chance of that anymore. This girl has to work at keeping her legs smooth which is a bummer as I get bigger – manoeuvring is like a huge selection of yoga poses these days.
Lets talk about boobs…
Yes, lets. Firstly, the pain as they adjust to motherhood is something I’ve never felt before. I described it to my Mother-in-law as my breasts being made of clay and setting into position – so when I take my bra off I feel like they don’t want to shift again.
Couple that with the whole nipple adjustment and you have to be careful braless as honestly, I could take someone’s eye out.

The crazy dreams!

I wake up sometimes honestly not knowing what I dreamed and where it ended – I imagine pregnancy
dreams are the closest things to a drugs trip if you haven’t experienced the latter. So vivid and so incredibly varied – I touch on some of my dreams in my 17 Week Pregnancy Update – they leave  me absolutely dumbfounded some mornings.

Food aversions..

They can be pretty damn powerful. Mayonnaise – the mere mention of the word, is enough to make me reach for my faithful plastic sick bowl. I had wicked sickness (had being the phrase at this point, touch wood!) and literally even the mention of some foods could be enough to trigger my gag reflex.
On the same line, I’ve had to give up my love of spicy food for now. I’m so sensitive, a few hours after eating something spicy I’ll have cramps and be running to the toilet to expel whatever I’ve eaten. I love hot foods usually, and alongside my family, Mike and my Father-in-law I’d keep up with the crowd tasting some of the hottest items on the menu. Now, no. Adding a few chilli flakes to my noodles is out of the question, and my emergency bottle of hot sauce has been relegated to the kitchen cupboard instead of my handbag.

The need for a toilet is real!

I sometimes can’t go an hour without the desperate, unrelenting need to wee. It isn’t helped by the fact you feel like your mouth is drier than the Sahara, either – one of the vicious circles of pregnancy. For me, the hardest time is at night – during the day, I can plan my trip around various bathroom breaks. At night, I’ll go before heading upstairs.. Then again about half an hour after climbing into bed with the TV on. Then again an hour after that. Then, when Mike comes to bed – and again when Mike settles to go to sleep – some days I’m back and forth (or upstairs and downstairs as our bathroom is downstairs) six or seven times. Lying down must flatten my bladder, and baby then takes the opportunity to tap dance on it – thanks, kid.

Losing things…

I’ve found my phone in the fridge. My house keys disappear on a regular basis, as does my bank card. In fact, a few weeks ago I lost my bank card.. Then Mikes. I found them thankfully, one turned up left in the bottom of the shopping bag.

The same vein as losing things – Mike will ask if I can go grab something from the shop. I’ll get there, stand in the aisles as if waiting for some prophetic vision… And forget what he’s asked me to get. Sometimes I can fluke it, but more often than not I’ll come back waving something left field and I’ll just get a deep sigh from him.
Just think, I’m only 18 weeks into my pregnancy journey – I’m pretty sure this post will be expanded on with a second and even possibly third edition! These are just my personal ‘discoveries’ when it comes to exploring my pregnancy – I’m sure there will be some more surprises further down the road.
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